My birth space
Background
When my son Zane was around 18 months old, I knew I was ready to welcome another baby. We conceived fairly quickly, and this time around, we decided to have a private midwife support us through the journey.
I had actually found Tessa months before falling pregnant. I remember reaching out to her almost immediately after discovering I was pregnant. Having experienced a homebirth with Zane, I knew I wanted continuity of care and someone I already felt comfortable with to walk alongside us.
My pregnancy was smooth for the most part, until around 39 weeks, when my blood pressure started consistently reading higher than usual. I wasn't particularly worried, but Tessa wanted to be cautious and rule out pre-eclampsia, so she arranged a urinalysis to check for protein in my urine.
Looking back, I wonder whether this was simply how my body responded to pregnancy towards the end. I hadn’t experienced something similar in my previous pregnancy, and perhaps it was just a pattern in how my body carried pregnancy.
The Birth
I've been experiencing pretty intense contractions for about a week leading up to labour. At first, I thought they were Braxton Hicks because I felt them on top of my abdomen, and they could get quite intense. I kept comparing my experience with my previous birth with Zane.
On Thursday, the 22nd, the day before my due date, I started experiencing very intense Braxton Hicks from around 3 pm. They were coming consistently.
My midwife, Tessa, came around 5 pm to check my blood pressure and do a urine analysis to rule out potential pre-eclampsia. She thought I might already be in early labour because of how I was breathing through the Braxton Hicks. Luckily, my urine was clear, with no traces of protein, which was a relief.
With that reassurance, I felt excited but was still unsure when labour would really begin.
On Friday, June 23rd, I went about my day as usual. I played with my son, went grocery shopping, and took a nap together. In the late afternoon, I woke up with mild period-like cramps and some discharge. I immediately knew labour was near, but at the same time, I tried to ignore it for as long as I could.
That night, the contractions began gently. I was watching a movie on my bed and noticed I was experiencing regular surges every 30 minutes. I informed my photographer, Sarah, and midwife, Tessa, that labour had started. Sarah decided to make her way over as she lived quite a distance from me.
While waiting for her, I started setting up my environment. I lit some candles and turned on the diffuser. I remember feeling very hungry that night. I snacked on some crackers and fruit and drank some labour aid to stay hydrated.
At 1:30 am, I woke my husband to set up the birth pool. By this time, the surges were still mild, and I was able to breathe through them. Sarah arrived at 2 am, and after a brief chat, we all decided to get some rest as we didn't know how long this would take.
Alone in my living room, I embraced the company of Surah Maryam and my birth playlist. I slipped into a state of tranquillity, drifting into sleep on my sofa for a solid hour.
I remember having a thought that I might have stalled labour, but I recognised it as my body conserving energy for what was to come.
When I woke up from my restful nap, the surges resumed, gradually building momentum.
Around 6:30 am, I called Tessa to come over as the surges were getting stronger. I asked my husband to prepare some avocado toast because I was absolutely ravenous. Eating my homemade sourdough during labour felt deeply satisfying, almost like the culmination of all my hard work.
Tessa arrived around 7 am. She checked my blood pressure, pulse and listened to the baby. Everything was fine.
By this point, I had started feeling pressure on my rectum, indicating that the baby was descending. I decided to get into the pool. The water felt heavenly, like returning to a safe and familiar place.
At 7:30 am, Zane woke up, calm but clearly excited. He hung around the birth pool while my mum tended to him.
I noticed that the intervals between surges were widening, yet their intensity was increasing. With every wave that came, I braced myself on my hands and knees. My husband poured water down my back while my mum gently stroked my hair. It was blissful.
Around 8 am, I started going quiet in between contractions. I might have been in transition, but who knew? I rested my head on the side of the pool and closed my eyes, perhaps even experiencing some micro-sleep.
Tessa noticed that the Rhombus of Michaelis had appeared, which meant the baby's head was pushing against my lower back, creating more space in my pelvis for her to pass through.
At around 8:30 am, the surges hit me like a train. They came one after another, with only a few seconds of rest in between.
I was roaring and trying to do the horse's breath while working hard to ride the waves and not lose control of my breathing. These forces were painful.
I didn't describe Zane's labour as painful because, although the contractions were intense, they weren't painful in the same way. This time, I felt like I was being stretched and pushed to the very edge of my being, quite literally.
Tessa suggested that I extend one leg in front of me, leading me into a lunge position.
Within the surge that followed, my membranes released. I reached down and could feel my baby's head, covered in hair. I knew she would be born with the next surge, so I asked my mum to get Zane from his room. I wanted him to witness his sister's arrival.
And then, in the subsequent surge, Zayla emerged through the ‘Fergusen reflex’, where my body expels my baby involuntarily without me forcefully pushing.
I didn't push. My body did.
With my right arm, I cradled her and brought her onto my chest. I rubbed her back until her cry filled the air.
I noticed her chubby cheeks and the thick layer of vernix covering her little body. Zane, standing beside the pool, had just witnessed his "adik" (little sibling) arrive.
My heart swelled.
I invited him to join me in the pool. His eyes widened in wonder, and a smile graced his face. My mum recorded the magical moment that unfolded, a cherished video I still revisit until this day.
Then reality struck, and a flood of tears streamed down my face.
I felt elated, relieved and overwhelmed by all the emotions, but most of all, grateful. Everything I had ever wanted had come true in this out-of-this-world birth.
It was an undisturbed, hands-off birth, and I had caught my own baby!
I birthed the placenta around 20 minutes later. Not long after, I moved to the couch with the help of the wonderful midwives. Zayla was still on my chest, and she managed to latch onto my breast by herself.
The midwives checked for tears, and I had a second-degree tear. I wasn't surprised given how quick and powerful the pushing stage was. I chose not to have sutures and committed to bed rest for at least the first two weeks.
We made sure the umbilical cord had stopped pulsating and turned white before cutting it. My mum tied the cord, and my husband cut it.
After that, Sam conducted a wonderful placenta tour and showed us just how incredible this organ was.
Shortly after, my husband recited the Adhan (call to prayer) in Zayla's right ear while I held her in my arms. I then passed Zayla to my husband for some skin-to-skin time while I had a quick wash.
We spent the afternoon in bed, savouring all the warmth and cosiness.
I devoured some bubur kacang hijau (mung bean porridge) that my mum had prepared. It was the most nourishing and comforting thing I could have asked for after birth.
Everything about this birth and postpartum period felt dreamy.
I am forever grateful.
Alhamdulillah. 🤍
A little about me
Assalamu alaikum, I'm Gess. I'm a Muslim mother of two, a doula and birth mindset coach based in Melbourne, Australia.
Both of my children were born at home, and my own experiences of pregnancy, birth and motherhood have deeply shaped the way I support other women.
My work goes beyond preparing you for the physical experience of birth. I believe that preparing for motherhood also means understanding yourself, your values, your fears, and the beliefs and expectations you carry into this transition.
I support Muslim women who want to approach birth and motherhood with greater clarity, self-trust and alignment with their fitrah, while keeping their hearts anchored in Allah.
If you’re interested wot work with me, view my current offering here.
